Before the stroke of midnight

Its a race.

Me vs the clock.

Time.

What IS time? Numbers. Numbers apply pressure. Pressure with money. Pressure with age.

Pressure with schedules.

The universal language is MATH.

The universal language is also and definitely more importantly, LOVE...

That is the language I speak fluently.

LOVE is the first language in my life.

I am in the middle of a painting and I only have till sunset to finish. It looks beautiful so far but it is not complete. I ignore the shade growing faster around me and focus on how beautiful this painting will be when it reaches completion. So many colors, so many ambitious strokes applied to tell the visual story... I only have to finish it. By completing this painting it will allow me to advance to my next painting. I desire a smooth transition. The clock ticks louder so I turn up the music keeping my mind busy with beauty, laughter and love. My neck is cramping and I don't care. I don't feel pain I only feel drive. Drive to accomplish my mission. I may walk away from this painting sore and tired after the journey it has put me through but I will glow with achievement inside and out. It's not easy to race the clock. My technique is to do all that I can do and after that I rely on LOVE.

Love for everything in my world and all of the love that is returned to me from my world.

Love is a powerful source of inspiration and energy.

With every minute passing the shade grows closer to me. I stay graceful. I do not want the pressure of the clock to interfere with my creative energy and high spirits... I need them to be strong if I am going to accomplish this mission... and that is exactly what I am going to do. This painting is going to have so much more value to it than I ever imagined when starting it. The push of that clock on my back applies challenges that could throw me off if I really and truly did not believe in what I am trying to succeed. Clearly that is not the case.

I am very loyal to my dreams and I KNOW my dreams stay loyal to me.

I am loyal to my ideas.

I am loyal to my ART.

I am very loyal to being TRUE and really LIVING my life allowing it to be my biggest masterpiece.

I will succeed.

Every new day IS success.

The picture is clear in my mind and it's slowly revealing itself outside my mind through every last bit of my actions. The shade is creeping closer to my toes. So I move them further away and stay concentrated on my task. Its the moment of truth, home stretch approaches and the clock is almost growling at me now. I am hypnotized by my sharp attention. I see nothing but bringing this painting to full life. It is my vision. It deserves to LIVE.

I can do this. I am will do this. I am doing this.

Its about to be done.

XxRxX

AMORE PER AMORE...

Sit down, look up, let go and create...

Its early and the stillness in the air creates a sense of peacefulness that entices me to move into this room.
The piano and violin encourage me to play... play with the thoughts that lay in my mind and send them out into the real world...

It is the day of Love, Valentine's Day and the air is sweet out side from it. I am surrounded by love in my life but at the moment I do not walk around in love with anyone. Its actually an amazing thought. That one day soon or far from now, I will find myself in love again with someone... What a beautiful experience to love and to be loved back. Some people think that to have a devotion to true love makes them a "hopeless romantic"... Why would anyone ever put hopeless in that mix? I do not believe there is no hope for anyone when it comes to finding the love that they desire so long as they stay open for it to arrive and truly believe that it will...

Love is such a sacred element to life. One of the biggest gifts we could have in living. I feel that to realize love everyday is one of the elements to true success in life. That stretches beyond loving one's mate but more so about living a life full of love. Love for everything that surrounds you, the air you breathe, the challenges that strengthen you, the gifts that nature provides us like a beautiful sunset or snow flakes on Christmas day.... Love conquers all and if you truly live a life active in that philosophy then I believe you are truly connected to LIVING...

I can feel a dreamy state of consciousness taking over me today, filling me up with inspiration and slowly but surely finding its way out of my hands and onto a canvas to express.
This is the perfect day to create a vision board. Things that I love and strive for in my life. Things that make me think and feel... Things that make my love for life stronger... Keeping them close to me in vision and thought... Yes, this is the perfect day to make a Valentine for the things that light the fire in my journey of life.

Passion is something that runs through every cell in my body, that radiates through my soul... that dances to every beat in my heart and today I will romance myself with my passion for life.

Buon San Valentino...Feliz dia de San Valentin... Alles Liebe zum Valentinstag... Bonne Saint Valentin...Feliz día de San Valentín...

xoxoRoxox

ONEonONE

Meet me in space... With it my heart on your sleeve, who could be so brave?

Its time to enter the room...

This sacred space that I don't try for but I yearn for...

With out my personal time and personal space I could never be complete.

I feel that it's an ABSOLUTE necessity to nurture yourself by going inside your mind to wander through your thoughts and ideas to think. plan. study. practice. and float in the clouds allowing them take you into a state of inspiration... It's a talent to be able to entertain yourself and its so wonderfully important to be able to enjoy your time alone in your own energy.

At this point in my life I could NEVER imagine not serving my mind, body and spirit the time and space they need to relax, explore and to grow...

Im really in an interesting place. A good place. Wandering through the hallways of my mind I FEEL. Yes I feel a lot actually... One of the very many wonderful things about being a Gemini (at least for me) is that I am able to have my Logic and my Emotions work together to do their best to live in harmony... Sometimes it can be really hard to make a decision but once I do, I never look back at the question, I proceed in the chosen direction with full intention. There is a buzz in the air and Im bouncing off of it. I am prepping myself for the end of summer and the action that will arrive with fall to knock at my door. I can also feel how much I am going to have to LOVE myself even more than I already do with a heavy state of busy on the horizon...

It's amazing really, it's almost as if this September is the start of the new year... well I suppose it is in the world I work in but I also feel this in my personal world.... and while I love the summer breeze that blows through my hair, it's time to walk the cement streets of metropolitan cities again while the leaves fall around me...

It's time for more acceleration. It's time for more progression. It's time for ELEVATION...

There is a sense of letting go in the air around me and because of it I can feel my power growing... self power and focus is an extremely effective way to climb the tower of life and gain the vision of success that you've painted in your ideas for yourself...

This is going to be a very energy demanding but strong personal growth period Im entering....

Within every new day I am grateful and feel like I am growing more and more of it as calender pages turn... I feel my awareness and I feel the warrior in me preparing for the trip in front of me, there is much coming my way before this year ends... I can FEEL it, I encourage it.

Im Ready.

xxxRx

CALLING THE SHOTS

I'm staying awake to listen to the dark... Its the ending of a chapter and I can feel the seasons changing. I don't know what day it is nor could I tell you the time... I'm spinning with my eyes wide open and there are colors all around me... One shade for every emotion that is swimming inside of my heart at the moment... She beats so fast, she is protecting me always... she whispers to my mind "do not worry, I am your soulmate and I will always be here for you"... I am blessed to have her, I could never want anything more than her loyalty and love.

Its so important to LOVE yourself. This is the ONLY way you can ever truly love anyone else. To love someone else is journey, a very important journey that at it's best will grow you and at it's worst it will attempt to destroy you... I absolutely believe that there is a sacred kind of love for everyone who doesn't stop believing that there is. I also believe that in this day and age its healthy to experience a variety of experiences loving and being loved by different people. How else can we really know what we want and what we don't want. It's so wonderful the feeling of LOVE when its mutual and elevating. Its horrible when that same love turns into a break up and all of what was before, that made you feel so good are the very things that hurts you he most when you have no choice but to remember all of it...

Break up's. Yuck. Never fun. For either the heart breaker or the heart broken... It's almost as if everyone has to experience it at some point to be human. Have you ever tried to embrace the pain that can step from love? To stop yourself in the very moment of a tortured heart and be still so you can absorb the beauty of FEELING? It is a gift to be able to have your heart broken because it means that you were able to open it to LOVE and to be able to LOVE is the ultimate gift in life. Its a complete turn around when you can embrace that pain and actually I think it displays a sense of control that you posses over the situation rather than it controlling you.

Work it with, go with it, spin with it. Don't let it take you from YOU, let it bring you closer to YOU... it can if you allow it too...

Its obvious through my writing that I believe that we posses the power to live the way we want to live, rise to and above the emotions that surface in us, manipulate our destines by the choices we make and the way we view life and ultimately own our life rather than having it own us...

I feel the leaves loosening up preparing to fall. Fall... reminds me of so many different and important times Ive experienced in my life... Some of which challenge my emotions at the moment but I'm not surrendering to the challenge... I am going to look deeper into it and send it away properly. Its official. It's time for certain things that I cherished to be repositioned and clear my path so I can make room for AMAZINGness to step in front of me... I deserve it and I have the POWER to make that happen.

My whole life I have been writing. There were times when I would be sitting somewhere waiting perhaps in a line, for a friend-whatever- but I remember in those moments I would search for a piece of paper and pen because I had things that I just had to get out and put in front of my eyes to see... Communication is my gift. Translating through my hands is my passion. When I write I am forcing (with pleasure) my eyes to be confronted with my thoughts, ideas, goals and emotions... The minute it leaves my mind through my hands and becomes visible for me to see it becomes a commitment. A commitment to myself to witness and grow from my entries from the feelings and determination in my words. The biggest let down I could ever feel is me letting myself down. That's why I work so hard to make sure that I never do...

I know that as long as I continue to keep unwrapping events in my life as GIFTS regardless if they make me feel happy or sad, regardless if i understand them or are questioned by them... I will be able to look back and smile at the RICH life I have been lucky to have lived...

"Its easier to die than to LOVE... that's why I go through the trouble of living my LOVE"

xCommitedx

xxxROXANNExxx

FANTASIA...

FEAR CAN STOP YOUR LOVING BUT LOVE CAN STOP YOUR FEAR...

Today I climbed... I climbed into fresh territory... I have so many things to share, so many things have shifted... so many ideas and thoughts to relish in... Tonight is simple. I just want to blow kisses and talk about my day dreaming... I feel myself YEARNING to wander... Wander away to places my heart sings for, places that express my inner feelings and stimulate my mind...
I love to encourage my mind to go further with it's wisdom and to keep my spirit charged with electricity... ELECTRICITY is teasing me with thoughts of running with the wind... Jump on a cloud and swing through the skies... Blue skies Inside my Mind...

I know that I am born to explore because staying in one place for too long, even for just reasons, feels like I am disconnecting myself from my internal twin (yes Gemini)... I value my patience and the course I have put myself on because I know ultimately I am working my way to that door of mine overseas... After all there is no great reward without great sacrifice...

"There can be no progress, no achievement without sacrifice. A man's worldly success will be in the measure that he sacrifices his confused animal thoughts, and fixes his mind on the development of his plans, and the strengthening of his resolution and self reliance. And the higher he lifts his thoughts, the more manly, upright, and righteous he becomes, the greater will be his success, the more blessed an enduring will be his achievements."
So beautifully expressed by James Allen. Someone who's words inspire me everyday, someone who simply was way ahead of his time...

It's midnight and I should close my eyes but all I would do is dream about being here in this room scribbling the thoughts that swirl in my heart and play in my mind...
Summer is here and I can feel the freshness of the sunshine surrounding my energy. I just want to explore... to grow... to accomplish... to create... to love- every single step of the way because they are all are the pieces to the picture I am building in the life of mine... RESPECT.

I know that I will soon be devouring the places I long to be and in the meantime I will be loving exactly where I am...

I think I will close the curtains now and go create something in my mind while my eyes stay closed but I know I will be back for another fix tomorrow or the next,,, I have SO much more to offer...

but for now...

Bon Nuit xxx