Spin the Wheel

I couldn't get upstairs fast enough. I felt it coming while driving home. The feeling crawled up from deep inside and started flirting with me... She wants to create with me and I have been waiting for her to come around... She only comes out when she feels like it. I never know what she will bring fourth with her aside from her gifting energy. She has so much power over me and I am deeply in love with her. She is no mystery here...

She is the inner voice that lives inside of my heart, my mind and my soul... We all have an inner voice but how we respond, react, OR NOT, to it makes all the difference to how we operate in our lives. So here we are. Now what? No plan. Just FEEL... Being one with yourself is a achievable blessing. Tick Tock and the clock stops. When you take time away all you have is ENERGY. This is the clock that I live on... Energy is too precious to waste so I simply DON'T. Thinking IS as thinking DOES. Critical. What a word... I love to explore them... To place them in front of me and give them LIFE.

I have many substantial thoughts floating through my mind... some as questions, some as ideas. Both are important and nurture each other. A chance is approaching me soon I can feel it. Will I take that chance? I am turning the corner to find out. I am moving into FORWARD. The ground below me is STRONG. The sky above me is BRIGHT. My temperature is 100 degrees into % and my heart... well she is sitting on her thrown singing directions for my mind to follow along too... They thrive off each other...

A new song comes on. Colors start to blend a new shade across the room. I am staying for the entertainment, maybe I'll learn something...

The earth grows so many seeds for us to plant and grow the beauty we chose to surround ourselves with. I found a sand dollar on the beach. No cracks, just LOVE. I picked it up and carried it into my world... MY WORLD. what a piece of work. The opportunity I am blessed with each time I wake to a brand new day, fuels me on my path towards the development of my world... wow what a sentence... words can be so very exciting... especially when you are a logophile like me...
I heard some interesting words today. They had to do with the idea of what should have happened... Should? Silently I sat there and listened, paying close attention to the words and to the feelings pushing them out. Sadly, I witnessed a dead end thought that will now be haunting a precious mind until there is a readiness to realize that there is NO such thing as should...There only IS...

Backwards is Forwards sometimes and the reverse is also true. This is one big curvy circle...the power behind FULL circles are incredible...
I'm spinning this wheel and catching a ride... The wind blows through my hair as I close my eyes... Im taking it all in. The cold air warms up my face and I smile. LIFE. I am LIVING it. I do not just exist. I am creating as I go. I am effecting energy. I am offering mine here... No need to filter it, it is PURE... so please, help yourself to it...

xXRXx

The Explorer

Its way past my bed time and yet I cannot stand to be away any longer...

The hallways of my mind have been bending time...I never let it rule me.

Candles are lit and my heart is glowing in the dark. The stillness of the night feels like silk sheets over my naked body. I am so comforted here... Time does not exist, only energy. I have nothing to prove here, I am simply playing in the clouds while my feet keep the earth between my toes. Letting myself wander, think, feel... let go...

I am sailing across seas to reach my beloved dreams... I am spinning gold around them every single day... They are priceless. Life presents more richness with every passing hour... New friends, new ideas, new inspirations, new destinations on the horizon...

Its summer here on my side of the world and I'm feeling pretty relentless towards accomplishing my inner most desires...

Relentlessness should never be confused for a lack of patience.

Patience is a virtue of mine. But the time is NOW.

I can feel my journey calling me, she whispers to me every night while I sleep "keep coming and explore me, I'm here waiting for you"... I am so loyal to her, I wake with more clarity every day and that clarity fuels my relentlessness to push forward towards the world...

The world... She is a beauty. She excites me at the thought of her mysterious and inviting self... I adore her and plan to explore her to the greatest ability that my life allows me to. There is so much territory to cover. Doors to unlock. Choices to make. Roads to discover. Creativity paves the way... I step across my stage, matching my pace to the beat of my heart...I am truly in a world of my own ...

I live EVERY DAY with complete appreciation for where I'm at and all that exists within my world...still yet I know that I have a calling to distant lands, foreign adventures and all of the mystery that exists with in them... There is so much more to bring fourth and so much more to offer...

This is my choice. Or is it my destiny?

It is MY destiny and I choose to listen to her... I am starring UP the road, target on site. Inch by inch I move forward with integrity. There are many more time zones I need to explore, Languages I want to hear and speak, Food I want to taste and create. Oceans to cross and to surf... There is a pull of energy that insists I keep going outward. I do not resist. I roll with it...

My life has proved to me over and over again that, I am sailing this ship. I can see glimpses of my tomorrow, the tomorrow that I am designing today. The dreamer in me is too alive to not respond to the ideas and visions in my mind. I have never seen a limit to what I want but it's amazing to witness how your desires in life constantly evolve into new ones... Simple, that is the core of my desires. To continue feeding my mind, my heart, and my spirit is what is on my treasure map. I feel it's important to have a plan that does not rely on anyone but yourself, but I do believe that its the love and connections with others in your world that help to lift you to the top of your mountain and yours to their own. We have so much to offer each other, the key is to keep your mind and your heart OPEN...

Life is so interesting and I am so grateful she keeps me interested... I am kept on my toes, eager and ready for what ever comes next...

I will gratefully start with tomorrow...

XRX

The day of ENERGETIC transmission...

Oh how I’ve longed to be here... my favorite place to be… in the home of my mind and my heart…

Reaching, yearning, believing, floating, gazing off into the fields of my dreams… I can feel everything around me and I am sending my energy right back out to into it…

Passion pursues me. I pursue her right back. We are in love and we live our love loudly every day so the world can feel us… I am a GIVER after all… He called me an ENERGY giver... I blushed silently and my heart agreed...

I have ideas. Ideas that grow me so high they let me linger in the clouds.

All is beautiful while I strive with strength and purpose. I am living in the PRESENT because it is a GIFT. Waking everyday with appreciation. No judgment exists in my world, only treasures… if only more people knew this amazing secret to harmony…

Maybe its not meant for everyone to know this? Maybe judgment has to be made for some purpose that I don’t understand in the circle of life? I respect what I don’t understand… The one thing that I know for sure in life is that I don’t know one thing for sure… Strangely I find safety in that thought. The only thing absolute in our existence is mathematics. I was never too good with it.

I am turning my pages in this novel of life. My story is building beautifully and I am so grateful. I have been surrounded by amazing FREQUENCIES...spinning a web of gold, full of love, full of obscurity. Unraveling the truth daily, what will all this add up to? A jar filled with pennies. Each one standing for a dream come true...I LOVE where I’m at and I FEEL where I’m going. It puts a smile in my heart and adds fuel to my fire every… single… day…

People make the world go round and I am SPINNING… I have been touched by some amazing energy lately. New friends that upon meeting, I cherish greatly… Like beautiful seashells on the shore, I am collecting an extraordinary family of friends from around the world. The chemistry between good people is a magical experience. Its absolutely UPLIFTING, completely encouraging, and I feel the ultimate gift in life… You can really bring the WORLD to you if you stay open to what it has to offer in the SIMPLEST and yet most meaningful forms… I have a healthy addiction to this and its not slowing down anytime soon…

Life is what you make of it. It’s your canvas. You pick the colors and the setting. I'm not lucky. I paint my picture. Every choice stems from my best friends- my heart and my mind. They are a winning team...

There is an essence of warmth that is blanketing my heart right now. I'm snuggled up inside of it and smiling on the inside and out. So many valuable lessons in our everyday lives- wake up and look around- feel your own ENERGY, is it what you want to feel from others? If not then change it. Be the person you want to love- be the person you want to enjoy- everything that is simple is true- complications arrive through human disorder- just stay aware and BREATHE, only then will you be contributing to the better of the world. DONT TRY JUST BE. There is so much to do and so much to take in. None of it has to do with work or money. All of it has to do with spirit and love. Love will save the day...

I feel very connected and strong. Focus is essential and I have an endless supply of it to apply towards my penny jar… I am sailing this ship of mine through FREEDOM… The sun is shining, the waters clear, I KNOW can do this and THAT is exactly why I am… Can you feel me? I'm touched and I want to do the same to you... My mind is so open and my heart is so free... The possibilities are just endless and I plan to keep it that way...

xRx

Insatiable

Chemistry. Chemical. I’m infected with passion. LUST. Excitement for LIVING. Yessss... its LIFE that has me spinning dizzy with laughter for I have discovered its true beauty...

My day dreaming twin just LOVES to be here wandering...

I have been dying to get back here at this winking cursor that flirts with me, begging me to come out and play with her, so here I am and here we go...

I imagine what it would feel like to fly; the excitement the wind playing with my hair, the world below me, the sky above me and an endless opportunity to go and go and go...

In so many ways I feel like I am in flying in my life, I am elevated everyday higher and higher...

I feel excitement running through my body like electricity... It’s hard to sleep but I feel so good when I'm awake that I don't care. I am not sure what it is but I sense some very exciting things that will lift me to higher ground are about to arrive... I feel very connected right now. I am living in every moment with gratitude. Life is truly what you make of it. I've learned to embrace my challenges as they arrive to grow me. Everyday I want to be growing into a stronger, wiser, brighter, woman…

I decided that I am finally, after all these years, going to write a book in my life... I now feel that I really have content for a beautiful memoir... With so many amazing experiences and realizations that almost decipher a code on how to live a harmonious life, I think it can translate into some form of reading entertainment... at the very least for me.

Writing is something that sets me free, it demands nothing from me, it is a true giver... I just love to be here, alone, me, myself and I, cozy in thought taking moments to stop and frolic in my mind before meeting my winking cursor again... Mmmm the simple things in life that make me happy....

My life is about to leap into a new chapter and I am staying focused to make sure I am fully ready for it. One day at a time, I'm in no rush but rather enjoying the foreplay in thought... It's amazing when you have the ability to connect the dots in your life, to witness your own evolution...

These past few days have been really interesting, I have had more energy than usual, almost in preparation for something fresh about to come in and stir things up in a tasty way... I am exploring new territory, being present in the moment, and setting up a new mystery that I will enjoy taking my time to unravel...

Life is seducing me right now and it feels really, really good...

xRx

Before the stroke of midnight

Its a race.

Me vs the clock.

Time.

What IS time? Numbers. Numbers apply pressure. Pressure with money. Pressure with age.

Pressure with schedules.

The universal language is MATH.

The universal language is also and definitely more importantly, LOVE...

That is the language I speak fluently.

LOVE is the first language in my life.

I am in the middle of a painting and I only have till sunset to finish. It looks beautiful so far but it is not complete. I ignore the shade growing faster around me and focus on how beautiful this painting will be when it reaches completion. So many colors, so many ambitious strokes applied to tell the visual story... I only have to finish it. By completing this painting it will allow me to advance to my next painting. I desire a smooth transition. The clock ticks louder so I turn up the music keeping my mind busy with beauty, laughter and love. My neck is cramping and I don't care. I don't feel pain I only feel drive. Drive to accomplish my mission. I may walk away from this painting sore and tired after the journey it has put me through but I will glow with achievement inside and out. It's not easy to race the clock. My technique is to do all that I can do and after that I rely on LOVE.

Love for everything in my world and all of the love that is returned to me from my world.

Love is a powerful source of inspiration and energy.

With every minute passing the shade grows closer to me. I stay graceful. I do not want the pressure of the clock to interfere with my creative energy and high spirits... I need them to be strong if I am going to accomplish this mission... and that is exactly what I am going to do. This painting is going to have so much more value to it than I ever imagined when starting it. The push of that clock on my back applies challenges that could throw me off if I really and truly did not believe in what I am trying to succeed. Clearly that is not the case.

I am very loyal to my dreams and I KNOW my dreams stay loyal to me.

I am loyal to my ideas.

I am loyal to my ART.

I am very loyal to being TRUE and really LIVING my life allowing it to be my biggest masterpiece.

I will succeed.

Every new day IS success.

The picture is clear in my mind and it's slowly revealing itself outside my mind through every last bit of my actions. The shade is creeping closer to my toes. So I move them further away and stay concentrated on my task. Its the moment of truth, home stretch approaches and the clock is almost growling at me now. I am hypnotized by my sharp attention. I see nothing but bringing this painting to full life. It is my vision. It deserves to LIVE.

I can do this. I am will do this. I am doing this.

Its about to be done.

XxRxX

Twirling to sleep

Where are you?

I am exactly where i am supposed to be.

I want to run and I want to fly. I want to sail away into the seas of my desire.

I don't know when I will arrive nor do I let the clock drive me. It is not the point.

The point is to live. LIVE EVERYTHING.

I live with passion. I live with trust. I live

with my eternal question being "what is my next source of inspiration?"...

Inspiration is what feeds my soul to grow its enlightened state of existence. To be connected is the ultimate gift. It reminds me every new day that I wake to one more and every night that I lay to another, that I am truly blessed...

Everyday I realize more and more how much power we have as humans to achieve we want for ourselves in our journey of life. Nothing is easy and nothing is hard. It is all what we choose it to be. We can choose to see a limit to our dreams or we can choose to dream BIG and seeing nothing but achieving them. If you can see it in your mind than its yours for the taking. Words I put together. Words that I believe in and live by. I sense a turn of a chapter directly in front of me. Mystery sits on one shoulder. Faith sits on the other. They hold hands appreciating one another keeping my love for life shining around me. A light so bright that fear or doubt can never get close. I believe in magic. I believe that words that can inspire are like magic so let me pull a rabbit out of my hat for you: "Don't rush into things, savor them more. Be more deliberate and specific about the plans that you are making, and in all that you do, let your your desire for feeling good be your guide"... This is simply gorgeous. Words that I want to put in a locket and carry around my neck where I can keep it closer to my heart everyday. What a brilliant reminder. Slow down so you can pay attention to what you are focusing on or maybe GROW a focus if you don't have one. Don't let numbers rule your spirit. let go of money, age, or time and what would you want to do, see, have and feel? Stay connected to THAT. I am not preaching. I am feeling and I am sharing. Why? Who knows? I do. I am supposed to be in this room and I have left the door open for you to come in and make your self at home. Morning is around the corner so its time for me to go explore my subconscious again...after all I cannot cheat myself of dreams that I earned after making it through another beautiful day of life. Tomorrow is a new opportunity with brand new possibilities and brings me one day further on this bridge I'm building to take me from where I am now to everywhere I want to be... There is much to be excited about it and I plan to undress it slowly so I can savor the taste of it...every beloved step of the way....

XxRxX

AMORE PER AMORE...

Sit down, look up, let go and create...

Its early and the stillness in the air creates a sense of peacefulness that entices me to move into this room.
The piano and violin encourage me to play... play with the thoughts that lay in my mind and send them out into the real world...

It is the day of Love, Valentine's Day and the air is sweet out side from it. I am surrounded by love in my life but at the moment I do not walk around in love with anyone. Its actually an amazing thought. That one day soon or far from now, I will find myself in love again with someone... What a beautiful experience to love and to be loved back. Some people think that to have a devotion to true love makes them a "hopeless romantic"... Why would anyone ever put hopeless in that mix? I do not believe there is no hope for anyone when it comes to finding the love that they desire so long as they stay open for it to arrive and truly believe that it will...

Love is such a sacred element to life. One of the biggest gifts we could have in living. I feel that to realize love everyday is one of the elements to true success in life. That stretches beyond loving one's mate but more so about living a life full of love. Love for everything that surrounds you, the air you breathe, the challenges that strengthen you, the gifts that nature provides us like a beautiful sunset or snow flakes on Christmas day.... Love conquers all and if you truly live a life active in that philosophy then I believe you are truly connected to LIVING...

I can feel a dreamy state of consciousness taking over me today, filling me up with inspiration and slowly but surely finding its way out of my hands and onto a canvas to express.
This is the perfect day to create a vision board. Things that I love and strive for in my life. Things that make me think and feel... Things that make my love for life stronger... Keeping them close to me in vision and thought... Yes, this is the perfect day to make a Valentine for the things that light the fire in my journey of life.

Passion is something that runs through every cell in my body, that radiates through my soul... that dances to every beat in my heart and today I will romance myself with my passion for life.

Buon San Valentino...Feliz dia de San Valentin... Alles Liebe zum Valentinstag... Bonne Saint Valentin...Feliz día de San Valentín...

xoxoRoxox

DROOLING...

Over these new Couture pieces that strutted down the Parisian runways this week.

The world of fashion really does fascinate me. I have a deep soft spot for the art of it within my heart. Granted I am not always decked out like Victoria Beckham (who's style I appreciate)... No in fact the simple tom-boy look in me is usually what you'll catch me in from day to day with attitude of course... Attitude is always apparent in my look, that is my signature if I was to have one. I am extremely down to earth and love to live laid back life full of quality and this is what inspires my day to day style. That said, I am a twin aka GEMINI so you can expect a flip side to that. The flip side in me does admire and lust for flawless construction, color, attitude and an over all message in pieces of my clothing after all I do work in fashion and entertainment ... I can shamelessly say that I can not afford all of my taste just yet but I am due to arrive at that train stop soon and when I get there I can assure you... I will arrive in style.

As an artist I am moved by collections from designers that inspire me and I will admit my personal taste comes at a pricey cost. I love translating their visions through my own by putting together pieces of wardrobe that represent ME. Its an exciting feeling when you feel good about how you look and the message you are sending through it.

There is a quote "Craft loves to wear clothes but TRUTH loves to go naked". I remember reading this years ago thinking, "Wow- that sums me right up in a sentence". The artist in me loves self expression by all means. Clothes and accessories play a huge part in that. The first thing people see when you walk into a room is not your personality, the kindness of your heart or your down to earth demeanor... they see your appearance. It is human nature to get a "taste" if you will, for the person based off of there appearance. It almost seems shallow but getting a feeling for the person is not judging the person, although many do that and THAT is what I find to be shallow. Its always nice when you look around and see someone who went out of there way to express themselves through the art of fashion. Appreciation for it does not mean I only have to be surrounded by this -definitely not- my lifestyle would NEVER allow that. (who's dressing up in Fiji while I'm there on a surf trip?!? get my point?)

It solely means I appreciate it...

On the flip side to that comes the "truth loves to go naked" part of me. I am all truth and nothing but the truth. In every aspect of my existence I live and breathe truth. I am true to myself even when it doesn't make others happy. I am honest with myself even if I am not happy with what I am being honest about. I am honest in my intentions towards every action and every human I come across in my life. Truth is nature. I live for nature. Truth is pure and so is my heart. I have been away from this room that I love to be in for weeks now. Trying to think of ways to get back in it. Every time I thought I found a way in I would come up short...hence the reason for a huge gap in my last entry. But. My reasons for it stem from the truth.

I know this is called a "blog" but for me this is really an online journal. Why I chose to post my inner thoughts on to a worldwide forum? Well for two reasons I suppose... First reason being because I love to share. Always have. I have nothing to hide. TRUTH GOES NAKED... so here I am. Second reason is because maybe in my sharing I might be able to inspire someone, make someone think or even laugh and that is just as positive, even if they are laughing at me.

This room could carry what ever I want in it. I cannot put words down unless they are asking to come out. They have to be born from some real thought, feeling and inspiration...

The first month of this new year is here and tonight we will have a wolf moon. This is when the full moon will be biggest and brightest for all to see as it will be in closest to us in orbit. Maybe that's why I'm feeling inspired today...

xxRxx